New Book

So yes, I am addicted to books about homeschooling and am reading yet another one. Curriculum, socialization, general information about homeschooling - just about anything. As I have said before, I don't think I have ever been as passionate about something in my entire life as I am about this. I don't read the books to convince myself that what I am doing is right for us - because I strongly believe in what I am doing is soooooo for me and my family (I could not imagine doing anything else!) - I read them to gain as much knowledge as I can on the subject for myself and so that I can also educate other people when they have questions.
For example.... Brenna plays with two twin boys that live right behind us. I love these boys and they all play so great together. They are six years old and currently go to public school. When I first met their Mom (about a year ago) and when she found out I was homeschooing Brenna she told me that was something that she could never do. (Never say never....) Recently she has told me that she is, in fact, considering homeschooling all three of her boys because she is fed up with the public school system. All of her reasons are things that I have been against from the start and reasons as to why I do what I do....

- way too much emphasis on the standardized testing. Apparently there are 23 bench-mark tests throughout the year! Yes!! 23!! In one school year!! That is almost three a month. So they really ARE going to school just to learn how to take a test - sad. And WHY would I want to send my child to public school if the only thing she is going to learn is how to pass a government test?? What exactly are they really learning from that?

- the "bad" kids at the school are making things miserable for all the kids. When the bad kids mess up then the entire class gets punished. "The inmates are winning", she says. This is one huge thing for me. I absolutely DO NOT want to send my kid to public school where she will socialize and hang around kids who I do not know at all. My sister-in-law told me that when she was working in the public school district, she would have little kids (I'm talking 2nd or 3rd grade) tell her all about the horror movie that they went and saw the night before. Just the other day my Dad and I were sitting in the waiting room at the hospital to see my Grandpa and this father was there with his two small children talking to another man. During about a one minute conversation he used about four curse words while his kids were sitting two feet away from him. My Dad looked at me and said, "That is what's wrong with kids today" and basically insinuated that he doesn't blame me for what I am doing.

- the kids don't really get to socialize at school. I just found out that the public school that Brenna would be attending does not allow boys and girls to play together on the playground. What kind of socialization is that? Does that happen in life? Just out of curiosity I looked up the definitions of "socialization" on the Internet and this is what I got.....

1. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
2. To place under government or group ownership or control. (interesting....)
3. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
4. To convert or adapt to the needs of society.

Does this sound like what is happening in the public schools? Which definition is true in relation to acquiring socialization skills in school? The kids don't get to talk in the cafeteria during lunch; they are not allowed to talk during class and now, apparently, they are not allowed to intermingle with the opposite sex.

Okay, so I am starting to get a little off topic. My whole point was about talking to this Mom who was thinking about homeschooling her three boys. That is why I love to read all the books that I do. When she called me and started asking me questions I had the answers. Not just my opinion but facts.

Okay, so my whole point of this post was to share a passage from this book that I am reading and I got a bit carried away and made this post longer than I had anticipated.
The book I am reading is The Well-Adjusted Child - The Social Benefits of Homeschooling by Rachel Gathercole. I was very excited to find this book because, until now, I was not able to find a book just on the socialization aspect of homeschooling. Almost all touch on it but to have an entire book focused on that one subject was very exhilarating. I am only about a quarter of the way through it but I came across a very interesting piece that I wanted to share. I will post it and then leave my post at that since this has become quite long. I will probably be posting more from this book in the next few days, as well, as I come across things that really move me.

Part of Chapter Three - What is Good Socialization, Anyway?

" Socialization is important. There is not doubt about that. No one wants their child to be a "misfit"; no one wants their child to be lonely, unhappy, or unprepared for future relationships. There is no doubt why the question of children's socialization is an issue for all parents and is a particularly common focus when people think or inquire about homeschooling. Parents, quite rightly, want their children to grow up in a healthy and proper social environment. Concerned citizens want all children to have this opportunity as well.
But unless we know exactly what healthy socialization is, we can not determine what kind of environment encourages it or even whether children - homeschooled, traditionally schooled, or otherwise - are properly or improperly socialized. So just what is good socialization?
This may seem like a simple enough question. But though everyone agrees that socialization is important, there is no commonly understood and accepted definition of "good" socialization. It is not enough to say that good socialization means being "normal". Every individual developes her own idea of what socialization (and even "normal") means and what it should be. There is no standardized test at the end of high school rendering a socialization score, no common objectives for socialization over the course of schooling. There is only happiness and the ability to function well in the world. And even these are very personalized matters.
Indeed, socialization is a very personal concept. We must all chose what kind of socialization we want or feel is appropriate for our children. Is it an ability to "fit in"? To be comfortable being oneself? To get along with others, to stand up for oneself, or both? To blend in or to walk away in the face of peer pressure? Is it preparation to belong to a group? To lead it? The interpretations and perspectives abound. Likewise, as pointed out earlier, the question, " What about socialization?" asked of homeschoolers by a hundred different people can mean a hundred different things. Do homeschoolers have friends? Self-esteem? Do they hold down jobs when they grow up? Are they "cool"? Do their parents smother them? How will they learn to deal with bullies? Learn independence? Sometimes it means one of these things, sometimes several, and sometimes something completely different. One thing is certain: socialization remains an elusive, abstract concept that parents, educators, and citizens alike fear because, in the end, we simply do not know what it is."