Facebook Post

I'm so addicted to Facebook! Wanted to share a post on my wall that I thought was relevant to my blog. Comments are welcome.


(My Status) "When I hear people say that if we don't control what our kids learn/do/wear/eat/etc. that things will fall apart, I can't help but think that they don't have a very high opinion of children". ~ Rue Kream

(A comment from someone....) Wow there's a thought but.....if you truly love your children you will give them guidance and direction, which they will follow and grow to be responsible adults. Control is a harsh negative word, yet rules are control? Something to ponder.....

(My reply) There's a huge difference between rules and control though and I think a lot of parents have a very hard time differentiating between the two. They think that they have a child and they have to tell them EVERY single thing that they can and can't do, how they should feel and act - that's sad and does not show a child how to 'grow'.
I don't control my daughter - she's her own person. She does have rules and guidance which she follows, like not crossing the street without looking both ways (which we ALL follow), flush the toilet when you're thru (LOL), ect.... As for telling her what to wear, foods to like and how to feel - that is a personal choice whether you're an adult or a child. It's BECAUSE I respect her as person that she does listen to me when I try to guide her and and show her direction. If I constantly bossed her around and told her how to feel and act then most of what I would say would go in one ear and out the other (like most parents complain of). And it only gets worse the older they get. I feel that most problems adults have with trying to express their feelings have to do with how they were raised to SUPPRESS their feelings. ("You shouldn't be so upset." "There's no reason to be mad." "Get over it...")
My daughter, who is 7, does not have many rules and is hardly ever told how to feel or what to do, yet she is a very thoughtful, compassionate and cooperative child. I feel that sometimes a parent makes it worse when they are constantly on top of their kid, expecting way too much. Just because a child is smaller and younger doesn't mean that they are any less of a person with feelings and opinions.