So I was informed last night by my Mom that I need to stop writing things on my blog like, "...reminding myself..." and "...trying to convince myself..." that what I am doing is right. She said that she gets very upset when she reads those words when it comes to me homeschooling. And yes, I agree.
I need to be totally and utterly comfortable in what I am doing and most importantly HOW I am doing what I'm doing.
I keep waiting for that to happen - to be completely sure and not have those twinges of doubt. It doesn't happen every day or even once a week or once a month. Very seldom do I doubt what I am doing is right but it shouldn't happen AT ALL.
Do I love homeschooling Brenna? Absolutely.
Is it the best thing for our family? Without a doubt.
Would I change anything right now? Not on my life.
I guess I don't necessarily question the whole homeschooling thing itself. I totally feel at ease about not sending my daughter to school and I do not hesitate one bit. I could not fathom her going to school. I am passionate about the entire idea of homeschooling and I love the lifestyle that we have that it gives us. We are not tied down to strict school schedules and homework. Our time together doesn't just consist of weekends and evenings during the week when everyone is tired from a long day, trying to get dinner made and homework done and bath and bed before a certain time. Oh that stresses me out just thinking about it! LOL I really don't know how some people do it. Our evenings are so relaxing and we don't feel pressure at all. So I guess to sum it all up, yes I am totally in love with homeschooling and have no uncertainty about it.
To be honest, I guess the thing that I question sometimes is HOW we homeschool. I don't know why I do because I have so much proof everyday that what I am doing is right for Brenna. Everyone who frequents my blog knows that I have a very relaxed approach to homeschooling and that we do not use any type of curriculum at all (been there, tried that, not good for my child). It has been a struggle and a roller coaster ride these last two years to get to this point and to feel (somewhat) at peace with it. It is hard to put so much trust in your child that they will learn without you pushing them. It is hard to feel comfortable in the fact that you are not sitting your child at the table everyday, drilling facts into their head and making them perfect their writing or learning math by writing it down repetitively on paper as proof of what they learned that day. It's not for the child's benefit that these things get done. It's for the teacher's (or in my case, the parent) to have a hard copy of what the child has supposedly learned that day. It's not natural for children to learn that way.
Do people force their children to walk? Do they send them to a school that teaches them to walk or even talk? Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? So is forced learning - it's the same thing. Children are natural learners. They were born to learn and they were born with the instinct to learn. Look at how much children learn before school age. They learn because they WANT to and because they crave it. A child gets sent to school (or even structured homeschooling) at the age of 5, forced to sit at a desk and learn things that they have absolutely no interest in and pretty soon it becomes boring and they begin to hate anything to do with learning.
Yes, I have tried sitting Brenna at the table and "doing school". You know what happened? She shut down. Learning stopped being fun and became a struggle. She started to pick up reading at age 5 and I forced her to sit and read to me everyday whether she liked it or not - and believe me, she didn't like it one bit! She hated it. There were tears and it just seemed so forceful and unenjoyable and unnatural so I stopped. (Yes, many of you have heard this story but bear with me.) Six months after I stopped forcing her to learn how to read she acquired a passion for it and now at 6 she's reading at a 3rd grade level and reading for pleasure.
Spelling was the same struggle. We started a curriculum, she resisted and stopped learning "on her own", we stopped and now she is learning to spell everyday just by making books and IM'ing her Dad on the computer and making cards for people.
You want to hear a conversation Brenna and I had just last night? We were talking about brushing teeth and I told her that you have to brush for about two minutes. She has a little hourglass timer that is for 30 seconds.
Brenna: "So if I got my timer then it would have to go four times for that to be two minutes because it is for half a minute."
Mom: "Yes, you are completely right Brenna. Good job!"
Brenna: "So if my timer was only a quarter of a minute then it would have to go eight times for that to make two minutes."
We continued the conversation and I asked her more complicated questions, which she got right.
My 6 year old is doing fractions....in her head.
And we don't use a math curriculum which teaches her this. She learns this because she wants to and because it's interesting to her. Amazing concept. Don't we do that as adults?
Oh how I wish I could just go on and on and about how many math conversations we have like this and how much she can do in her head. It is a part of our everyday life. Why do I need textbooks to teach her things that she will naturally learn by using it in everyday life?
So after all this, I STILL doubt sometimes that what I am doing is right. Why?? Can't I see the proof right in front of me?
Every once in a while I will have the urge to sit her at the table and drill spelling words into her head and prove to me that she can spell this word and that. But I don't. Every once in a while I will have the urge to make her perform math problems on paper just so that I can see what I know she already knows. But I don't.
Believe me, it's hard. It's hard not conforming to what school should be like and what people say a child should learn at a certain age. It's hard not having that "proof" written down on paper. It's hard trusting her and trusting that she will learn things. She may not grasp certain things at the same age that school children do but her learning experiences are much richer I think because it's things that SHE is interested in that she will remember better. She is also learning certain things that are way beyond her grade level, like fractions. It kinda evens out.
But I have a philosophy on that whole thing.....
Who's to say what they should learn at what age? Really, who comes up with that stuff???
What difference will it make if my kid learns how to tie her shoes when she's 4 or when she's 6? She's still going to learn right? She's not going to be 15 and not know how to tie her shoes.
I think that applies for a lot of things. Reading, spelling, writing, ect.... Why not let them learn it when they are ready and when it is easier for them to grasp the concept instead of when "so-and-so" (books, government, teachers,ect...) says that they should? Is there any difference at all between a 7 year old learning to write cursive and a 10 year old learning to write cursive??
I'm sure that I have written similar arguments on here before and I apologize for being repetitive.
I need to listen to my Mother (don't we all??) and stop doubting what I am doing with Brenna because I SEE it. I see that she IS learning and that she is so smart. I see how much she loves learning new things and how many questions she asks everyday (that I have to find answers to!! LOL). I also have seen how much she resists when it comes to any kind of structured learning and how she just completely shuts down. Maybe I just worry too much about what other people think? I really do I guess. As my brother always tells me , I worry too much about what other people think and I need to just be myself. Oh how I wish I were more of a "free spirit" like he is. (I love you PJ!!) How different a brother and sister can be....
I need to realize that Brenna is MY child and that as her mother, I know her best and know the way that she learns best as well. I am not harming her in any way by not being a sit-at-the-table-and-do-your-work type parent. I actually have her best interest at heart and I have come to realize what kind of learner she is. She thrives on natural learning.
That, right there, is the absolute beauty of homeschooling.
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2 comments:
Hi, Brandi!!!
You are very normal to be concerned about whether or not your methods are the right thing or if you need to do something different. I've been doing this 20 years and still 2nd guess sometimes. I'm not saying you need to 'worry' about it, but a little concern keeps you on your toes. Our 'worry' comes from comparing. The Word tells us basically not to 'compare ourselves with ourselves' (somewhere in the NT) and to me that says we shouldn't worry about whether we're doing it the way everyone else does or the way your friend does. We hear God and follow the path He's set before us. You're doing great and I'm proud of you and your Spirit. blessings, Linda
2 Corinthians 10:12 - For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
If we all did things the same way life would be boring. The beauty of homeschooling or unschooling is that it fits your child, and nobody knows Brenna better than you. Brenna is thriving, she is very smart and a free spirit (maybe like PJ or Brendon). How lucky for you that you child is creative and makes everyday different and interesting. We would love to be a little more like that.
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