Good Times

I love having a seven year old. Brenna is so much fun to just hang out with. Maybe it's her age or maybe it's just the fact that I have been A LOT less stressed about the every day things lately and little things just don't seem to bother me as much anymore.

I think I am going through a parenting-style change right now and I love it!

I have been much more laid back and more relaxed about things lately (and Brendon is sooo with me on all this and has slowly started to take this approach as well). Take tonight for example -- we had family movie night and watched "Journey to the Center of the Earth" (great movie by the way!). Didn't start the movie till about 8:30, so that meant it wouldn't be over with until about 9:45 or so. *gasp!* Brenna not going to bed until 10pm?! That used to be unheard of! Anyone that knows me knows that I am a sleep nazi! LOL I always have been. My daughter's bedtime has consistently been very early. The past couple weeks I have not really been all that concerned about it and guess what? It has been such a blessing and has made our nights a lot more relaxing. I'm not so hurried to get her into bed anymore like I used to be. What does it matter if she doesn't go to bed by 8:30pm? It's not like she's having to get up at 6am to get ready for school!! Does she still have a reasonable bedtine? Of course, but it doesn't consume our nights like it used to. If we're having fun doing something then we don't stop anymore just because it's bedtime.
Getting back to my parenting-style change though....
What freedom I have found!
I am no longer the "boss" of my child. Yes, I do still parent her and let her know what is and what is not acceptable and make suggestions and still guide her BUT I am not so anal about things anymore. Toys all over the living room? Used to bug the hell out of me. If 10 minutes went by and she wasn't playing with them anymore I would "order her" to clean it up. Now I think, she's having fun, she'll get back to it eventually - so what if every single Littlest Pet Shop she owns is all over the place? Who cares. I can step over it a heck of a lot easier then getting after her to clean it up. Much more peaceful.
Messy bedroom? It's her space. I'll close the door if it bothers me or I'll help her clean it if it gets too out of control. Yogurt container left in the living room? At least she's choosing healthy snacks - I'll throw it away for her. Leaves and twigs and magnifying glasses left on the table outside? Hey, she loves science and the outdoors! Who am I to tell her that she can't leave her "experiments" where she wants? She always goes back to that stuff and if it's not there (because I chunked it!) then that just means she won't bother with it anymore. I WANT her to bother with it!
I haven't been 'getting after' Brenna so much anymore and being so.... Mom-ish I guess. I don't scold anymore, I give suggestions. I don't belittle. I don't treat her with disrespect. I don't "boss" her. I don't order her around. I don't DEMAND respect. You show respect - you GET respect. I don't care how old you are.

I've noticed a huge difference in her since I have not been acting like the dominant parent. She has been much more cooperative. She's been more willing to help around the house. She's been treating ME with more respect since I've been treating HER with more respect. I talk to her the same way that I would Brendon or my Mom or my friend.
I've come to learn that you don't have kids so that you can boss them around and treat them like they are less than you - no matter what age. Kids want to be treated with respect and want to be treated like they matter. I have been so much more open to Brenna's opinions then I ever have been and guess what? She has some pretty darn good ideas that I would have just casted off in the past because she "is just a kid". Just because I'm the adult doesn't mean that her opinions and ideas matter any less.
Oh what freedom and peace that I have found! This is soooo much easier then trying to play the game of "you-listen-to-me-because-I'm-bigger-than-you".

I love parenthood! :) You not only grow as a parent and mentor but as a person. You discover new things and learn the value of patience and listening to other's opinions - which is quite a virture in life.