San Antonio

Last week Brenna, Brendon and I went to San Antonio. Brendon had to go for work so us girls took advantage of the opportunity and tagged along with him. While he was working on Friday Brenna and I went to the zoo and the park downtown with Dea Jae. We rode the train at the park and Brenna thought that was the coolest thing ever.

Brenna and Grandma waiting for the train

Brenna Butterfly

Brenna on the train

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Saturday Brendon, Brenna and I went to Sea World. It was the first time that Brenna has ever been and she is now in love with that place! We saw all the shows, fed the dolphins and rode on a lot of rides. Brenna was amazed with Shamu as well as the dolphin show and the seal show. I have seen those shows sooo many times but when you go with a kid who's never been it really is pretty cool. Kinda makes it seem like you're watching them for the first time again too. It was a beautiful day and for it only being open for two weeks, it was not crowded at all.

We ended up getting season passes because Brendon will be going to San Antonio more often for his job so now Brenna and I can go with him and spend the day at Sea World! They have a big water park now so when it gets really hot this summer it will be nice to go and have a place to cool off for the day.

(Brenna and me on a roller coaster - she rode this three times!)

Trip to the Children's Museum

Brenna, Rhiannon and I went to the Children's Museum a few weeks ago. It is such an amazing place and the girls had a blast! We stayed for about four hours and when it came time to leave, they definitely were not ready to go.
There's all kinds of things for kids to do there. They have a pretend farm, kitchen, boat, weather stuff and a doctor and dentist area with real x-rays! I took so many pictures but had to narrow it down to a few for the blog.
There's another Children's Museum that we are going to go to pretty soon. It's a little further away than this one but from what I've heard it is worth the drive.

Why do I Homeschool?

Someone asked me today WHY I homeschool my daughter.

Wow, what a very broad question with so many (too many!) possible answers. Got all day? (that was my answer to this person! LOL)

Ok, so you don't want to sit all day and read a long extensive post, I get it --- and believe me, I could write all day on this but I will spare you. LOL I'll TRY to make it short. :)

So this question has been in the back of my mind and I've been pondering this pretty much all day. I think my reasons have changed some since I started. Well maybe my top three reasons have changed a little or they have become a little more important as the years go by.

Okay, to the point now.....

My main reasons for homeschooling:

-my daughter is already going to growing up WAY too fast - I can't believe that she's going to be 7 next month. Seems like she was just a baby a couple years ago. I don't want to spend the rest of the time I have with her at home just during the evenings when everyone is tired from a long day (Brendon working, me working a paying job (cuz I would if I wasn't doing what I am) and Brenna at school), trying to get homework done, dinner made and get to bed at a decent hour so we can all wake up at 6 AM and do it all over again. Sorry, doesn't sound fun at all - I don't care HOW much money we would have with two full-time workers - not worth it, at least not to us.
I don't want our quality time together to be only on weekends and vacations. I have so much QUALITY time with my daughter every day. I'm sorry, but to me quality time does NOT happen during busy evenings and you don't get as much as you need with your child on weekends. Everyone knows weekends go by super quick. I refuse to fall into that rut. I will absolutely cherish and be so grateful for all the time that I have been able to spend with my daughter when she is grown and out on her own. And I'm sure she will too.
You only get one shot and I'm not wasting mine. Time is too precious.

- socialization. Yes, you read that right. Socialization is one of my top reasons for wanting to homeschool.
But isn't that the main reason why most people think homeschooling is bad, because of the supposed lack of socialization? *big eye roll* Pleeease......
I don't think children get very good socialization at school at all. Yeah, they GET it but what kind of quality? Isn't quality better than quanity? Why do I want my child hanging out with "Joe's" kid who goes and sees rated R movies with his parents on weekends and comes and tells my 6 year old all about it? Yeah, you've all seen the little kids at those movies, don't say you haven't. If their parents are letting them do THOSE things then no telling what else they are being exposed to. I'm not going to put MY child in jeopardy and have her learn things that she shouldn't just because some other parents are complete and total idiots and have no common sense (everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about). I'm not going to let my child endure the effects of bad parenting when I've tried so hard to raise her the right way with morals and values, right and wrong, manners and respect, ect... That's just way too much for me to have to correct over and over again. Things have become so much worse from when I was a kid - just read the paper or talk to parents of public schooled kids. Now you got 2nd graders in the bathroom (at a private school no less!) showing their friends their mother's thong under ware (true story I heard from a teacher! I kid you not!). Seven year olds! That is soooo screwed up. There is usually one teacher per about 20-25 students. That is not acceptable supervision to me.
Socialization at school is way over-rated and if people just actually took the time to stop and really think about it they would realize that kids do not benefit at all from the "almighty school socialization" ---- the "your-kid-won't-be-normal-unless-they-go-to-school". Yea, whatever. I'll risk it. Gladly. But it's totally not true. One of the myths of homeschooling.
School socialization actually is not that great (*gasp!* who would've thought??). Like I said before.... waaaayyyy over-rated. If I would lock my child in a closet all day and let her have no interaction with other people then you could tell me that she wasn't socialized. Not happening -- never going to.

-quality of education. My third reason. And a very important one to me. Not so much at the beginning but it is now becoming a lot more important as our homeschooling journey broadens and as she gets older.
Do I want my six year old spending all day at school doing table work and learning from text books and worksheets? Do I want her having an hour of homework every night after being at school all day? Do I want her going to school just to learn how to pass a government test?

Heck no.

These are facts. I have friends I talk to who's kids go to public school. The public school that she would be going to has 23 bench-mark tests per year for the government tests that schools have to pass. Twenty-three! That's crazy! I refuse to let my child go to school just to learn how to pass a government issued test.
I want my 1st grader learning things that SHE is interested in and I want her to keep her strong desire for learning. That's how you retain information. Do you think that if schools are shoving that many tests down my child's throat that she's going to love learning? I think not. After a while it's going to become monotonous and so robotic. Learning is going to become a chore instead of a "I-want-to-learn-this-because-it's-cool".
Brenna gets to experiment and do things that SHE loves and is interested in. Everyone by now has heard the story of Brenna learning to read. I'm not going to repeat it so here's my post on our schooling style. We are extremely relaxed and for right now that is the best thing for my child. She is getting so much more out of that then if she were going to public school.
I've written so much about our schooling and my approach and reasoning, that I'm not going to even go there right now. My daughter is flourishing and learning plenty.

Ok, so those are my top three reasons for homeschooling. I'm always trying to find intersting things to post about and when I was asked that question today I just thought that I would re-visit that topic on my blog.
I really didn't think that it would be that long but of course I tend to ramble on. LOL :)

Another thing I found on the Internet.... thought it was interesting (and very true)

DECLARATION OF NON-PARTICIPATION IN PUBLIC SCHOOL FORM FOR HOMESCHOOLERS

OUR RIGHTS 101

HOME SCHOOL MOMS QUESTIONAIRE FOR PUBLIC SCHOOLS

Can the school board guarantee my child’s safe return home from school each day? This includes the time that they are entrusted to your care during school hours. This includes but is not limited to safety in the rest rooms, in the hallways, on the stairways, in and under the bleachers, in the lunch room, in the class rooms, on the playgrounds, or on any school property.

COMPLIANCE

Can the school board guarantee that a member of it’s faculty including but not limited to teachers, principals, aides, janitors and any school official, will not fall in love and attempt to sleep with, marry, fondle, molest, and sexually mishandle my children in anyway?

Can you guarantee me as a parent that my child will get a top notch education from a top notch school with verifiable records to prove it? Can you provide me with at least 50% of your current years students, verifiable records of above average success on all academic levels? With the exception of your hand picked students, can you provide me with a high level of excellence in academic records for at least 300 students that are above the national level for a period of 3 years?

Can you provide me with medical proof that all of the students that your school district has deemed autistic, ADD or ADHD are indeed suffering from these clinical deficiencies? Can you prove that the person, or persons who made these medical diagnosis are qualified to do so? Can you guarantee to me that the school board has a real interest and concern for my child’s education and is not only interested in getting state or federal monies for my child’s presence in their school district?

Can you guarantee that my child will not be bullied, beat up, abused, fondled, molested, or turned out by other students?

Can you guarantee that my child will not be exposed to drugs or alcohol as a result of going to your school? Can you guarantee that my child will not be racially discriminated against in regards to students of other races? (Whether Black, White or other race depending on the student) Can you guarantee that my child will not be killed on school property during school hours while in the care of your faculty?

Can you prove that your school will not be one of those that helps students cheat on test to raise statewide test scores for the purpose of improving it’s image? Is your school one that accepts responsibility for children not learning or do you blame the children for the failures of the schools? Can you give a realistic account of America’s failing schools or do you consider teachers and school administrators to be completely blameless?

Can you help me to understand why schools are typically not held liable for the injury or death of a child while in it’s care and many times are not even investigated but the same rules don’t apply if this happens while in the care of parents or other relatives, friends and non school officials? Can you give me a legitimate reason why I should entrust my children’s lives into your hands when you don’t have to protect them from hurt, harm or danger? Can you explain to me why my rights as a home school parent are always questioned or challenged when home school students have consistently proven to be well educated? Can you explain why public school officials feel the need to interfere with home schoolers who are giving their children a safe viable education while the children under their very care are failing miserably? Why is that? Do you want more children to be given to you so that they can fail miserably too?

PROGRAMS

Can you explain to me why your policy states that if a child goes on a field trip with your school that the parents must sign a letter stating that the school board can not and will not be held responsible for the death or injury of a child while in the care of school officials. Wouldn’t it be more feasible to say send your child with us on this trip at your own risk? Can you give me a reasonable explanation as to why some public schools don’t report sexual abuse of children on school property, during school hours while in the care of the public school system? Can you explain why some parents have to wait months or even years to find out that their child has been sexually assaulted by other students? Can you help me to understand why the school board is more interested in protecting it’s image than it is the safety of our children? Can you tell me why many school officials oppose home schooling over public school when the school system is full of violence, threatening behavior, immoral activities, delinquent behaviors, and so on and so on?

Can you tell me why many teachers question the social ramifications of home schooling when the children that they would socialize with if they attended public school are the very ones that would subject them to lewd acts, homosexual behaviors, teen sexual promiscuity, alcoholic pressuring, drug pressuring, peer hazing, bullying, racism, hatred, name calling, and so much more? Can you assure me that my child will not be the next victim of an oversexed sexual predator be it a teacher or another student? I know that I have already asked this question but since this seems to be a constant occurrence on the rise, I felt the need to say it one last time.

As I read through the articles on the HSLDA (Homeschool Legal Defence Association) site of current and archived cases that home schooler’s have been faced with around the country, I felt the need to address some issues we home schoolers may have had that forced our decision to home school. I read cases of social workers not knowing the law and overstepping their authority. I see good honest loving parents being accused of criminal behavior all because they protectively home school their children. I see school officials making unnecessary demands on home schoolers to violate our rights and humiliate us as if we are criminals. It seems to me with all these petty cases that the public school system is policing home school families and no one is policing them. They act as if they really care about our children yet, they don’t. They show up at the doors of families ready to remove children and place them in broken, hostile, violent, foster care systems that abuses children, all in the name of public school dollars. They tote perfectly good parents off to jail because of their brutal policing of home schools. It sounds as if we are living under a dictatorship when I read some of these cases. Yet the national headlines always seem to protect parents with drug problems, stating that with the proper help they can be good parents. That may be true and I’m not knocking this, however, how can you basically do that yet put home schoolers under a microscope as if we are some type of alien clan of sub-human species? So many think this decision is weird but yet they are battling teen pregnancy issues, along side scents of marijuana coming from their child’s bedroom.

My last statement is, Get off our backs. Thank you.

Source of the Article: HomeSchoolVoices.com

Garden... FINALLY!

Today I finally got my garden in order and we now have greenery! YEAH! No more brown soil in empty boxes to look at. LOL I have some seedlings and I planted some seeds as well. Right now I have garlic, basil, thyme, tomatoes, yellow squash (seeds), zucchini squash (seeds), green peppers, sweet orange peppers and cucumbers (seeds). I still have a few empty spots and I'd like to plant some carrots, just because I think they would be fun for Brenna and she LOVES carrots! I did not plant any corn because there was no room but maybe tomorrow I'll get a wild hair and dig another ground bed for Brenna's corn. That is a lot of work though. It will more likely happen IF she helps me do it. So far I have not had much help from her. I told her that I better not be like The Little Red Hen and have her only help to EAT the fruits of my labor. She has promised to help me water as well as weed so we'll see what happens there. I'm very close to MAKING her do some good, hard manual labor. No quitting from her. It'll be good for her. LOL Maybe I will teach her a good lesson and NOT plant corn this year if she doesn't help. Maybe she'll want to help a little more next year if I do that. HAHA!
Tomorrow I will take some pictures of my garden boxes and post them. It will be fun to post them every week to see the progression IF I remember.

Today I said a little prayer after I planted everything. My Grandpa, who just passed away, was a master gardener and had a HUGE garden when I was a little kid (well, up until about 6 years ago). He grew THE BEST tomatoes, okra and green beans. I remember being a kid and going to my Grandma's house and eating his homegrown veggies. To this day fried green tomatoes remind me of him -- my Grandma made the best!!
I prayed and asked my Grandpa to please help me with my garden and to grow good, good vegetables. :) I'm sure I won't have plants as good as he did but maybe he'll lend a helping hand. I might have some good luck though because I did ask my Grandma if I could have this old wooden sign that he used to have in his garden that says, "Grandpa's Garden" and she said of course.
I really, really miss him A LOT.

Wish me happy gardening!! :)

Lazy Day

Today was pretty lazy and very uneventful. Don't even know why I am posting - guess out of boredom. The house is very quiet - Brenna is in bed and Brendon is with a friend at a concert in Corpus Christi. Brenna went to bed pretty late last night because she stayed at my Mom's house so she's in bed early tonight. We were all sick over Valentine's Day weekend, so Brendon and I had our night out last night. Not much of a night out though - just to a movie. We went and saw "Twilight" which I had been wanting to see since I read the books. There are four 700+ page books and I read them all in one week. Best books I think I have ever read. I just could NOT put them down! I read while I cooked, I read while I cleaned - I read every minute that I possibly could. Poor Brendon and Brenna saw Mom doing nothing but having her face in a book. I noticed that Brenna did a lot of reading that week too. It is true about kids doing what they see their parents doing. Nothing better then my kid mimicking my reading though. LOL She sure does impress me with all the words that she can read.
My garden beds are still brown and empty. No green in them yet. I did plant some garlic cloves yesterday so we'll see what those do. On Monday I am getting some plants from my friend, Mieree, as well as transplanting our tomatoes from the pot that they are in. Brenna is insisting on one of the boxes being just hers so we'll see how much I can get away with planting what I want to in both boxes. She has her heart set on planting corn. That girl LOVES corn! Corn is kinda a pain though because their root system is so shallow (they blow over easily). And you don't get that many ears per stock. I think I will make another place along the fence for her corn. At least we can tie it up on really windy days and it won't take up so much space in our small beds.

Anyway, today Brenna and I did a lot of math stuff. She got out her math curriculum that I hastily bought last year and we did a few pages in her book. She did really good and thought it was a lot of fun. She made up a few games using her Littlest Pet Shop pets. She tried that once when I was in my "school at home" mind frame and I knocked it down. Today I realized that she learns just as much doing it HER way and by playing then she did doing it MY way and sitting at the table all serious-like. But it is sooo much more fun! I have come such a long way. LOL

Ok, I'm getting tired of sitting at the computer. I'm off to play Guitar Hero and pretend that I'm a rock star!! :) LOL

Gardening Time

Sickness is finally winding down in our house. Brenna got over her flu surprisingly fast and was much better by Sunday. Brendon was sick during the time that Brenna was so I had my hands pretty full for a couple days. By Sunday I was completely down and out. I got it much worse than the two of them and am still fighting off head stuff today. I slept ALL DAY Sunday and had not felt that bad in years. Thank goodness Brendon was well enough to take care of me and Brenna. Hopefully tomorrow I will be better - that's what I've been saying for three days though so we'll see.

I can't wait to feel 100% again because Brenna and I need to get started with our garden. Last week I made two 4x4 raised beds and got some compost/soil mix delivered. I spent a good two days hauling that stuff from the front to the back. We are going to do square foot gardening. We've already started our tomato plants in a pot and they sprouted about 4 days ago. We are going to grow those as well as cucumbers, yellow squash, basil, garlic and carrots. We are looking forward to it and can't wait to get started.

Here's some pictures I took last week.

The Flu...and other dreadful things

So Brenna has her first case of the flu. Poor girl is feeling absolutely terrible. I took her to the doctor today and they tested her and confirmed it. She started feeling bad this morning and I just had the urge to make her an appointment - which usually doesn't happen for me at the first sign of illness but I just had a gut feeling I guess. The doctor is kinda the last resort because they end up telling me what I already assume or know (lots of rest, fluids, ect...).
So anyways, the test came back positive and the doc suggested that she take TamiFlu since we caught it early. I said okay because I love, love her doctor and trust everything he says. Big mistake. I never, ever recommend ANYONE to take that stuff - it is horrible!
I gave it to Brenna as soon as we got home and within 30 minutes she was feeling ten times worse and vomiting all in my kitchen sink (couldn't make it to the bathroom). Okay, yes, the side affects said vomiting may occur as the body adjusts to it but what happened was just ridiculous. Not only did she throw up about 6 times but she had excruciating stomach cramps for the rest of the evening. Any "medicine" that does that throws up a red flag for me.
After all that drama I sat down at the computer and researched this TamiFlu. I came across a web site (click to read) that had a forum on it and started reading what people had written. Terrible stuff. There was a lot that described exactly what happened to Brenna and then other stuff that was much, much worse. So no more of THAT crap! Too bad I paid $50 for it.....ugh! It's not like a "miracle cure" for the flu anyways - it only shortens it by about one day. To be honest - I'd rather have my daughter sick for one more day then to feel the way she did after taking that medicine.
Anyway, she went to bed pretty early tonight. She still has a pretty high fever of course but hopefully she'll feel a bit better in the morning. Nothing but rest and forcing down fluids for that little girl tomorrow. I already have the couch made up for her with lots of books, magazines, drawing pads and her colored pencils. I even hung big, heavy blankets on her windows in her bedroom in hopes that she will sleep in a bit. She's going to miss her basketball awards ceremony in the morning and I'm kinda bummed about that but what can you do?
Anyway, more tomorrow if I can get on here. Brenna and I are starting a garden and I have lots of pictures to share!!

Parenting

I have been reading a lot (no surprise there!) on what is called peaceful parenting. It makes a lot of sence to me and I love the whole concept of it. I found something that someone wrote and thought it was worth posting on my blog. Those of you who don't have small children will probably find no interest at all in this, but even if just one person reads this and gets something from it it will make it worth posting....


Stop thinking about changing "for good" and not just for days or moments. That is just another thing to overwhelm you and you don't need that!
Just change the next interaction you have with the kids.

Stop reading email right now and do something "preventative"— something that helps build your relationship with them. Fix them a little tray of cheese and crackers and take it to them, wherever they are, unasked. Sit down on the floor and play with them. If nothing else, just go and give each of them a little hug and a kiss and say, "I was just thinking about how much I love you."

Okay—so that is one good, positive interaction.

Again—just change the next interaction you have with the kids.
Focus on making the next interaction another one that builds up your relationship. If the next one is because the kids are fighting, STILL keep in mind that you want this interaction to do something positive for your relationship with the kids and stretch your thinking as to how you can make that happen.
In other words, you kind of think from their point of view about yourself. Consider what thoughts you want going through their head. Do you want them thinking: "She never takes time to even find out what the problem is?" Or "She always blames me?" Or "She's such a hypocrite, doesn't want to hear us yelling, but then she yells at us." "She hates me." And so on. What do you want them to be thinking—what words (articulated or not) do want tumbling around inside their head?
Maybe "She understands how I feel." Or "She really cares about helping us solve our problems." Or "She is trying hard to be fair." Or "She's calm even when I'm not." Or "Mom is the best listener in the world." "Mom loves me even when I'm causing problems."

And, eventually, you want them to think like this:
"Mom will help us find a solution."
"I can stay calm like mommy does even when I'm mad."
"I can listen carefully like mommy does when there is a conflict."
"I can recognize feelings, like mommy."
"I can come up with new ideas, like mommy does when we have trouble."

There is no substitute for being authentically "there" for them—for genuinely trying to help them resolve problems. For putting your relationship with them at the forefront of every interaction, whether it is playing together or working together.
None of us are perfect; we'll all have some regrets. But with my kids 19, 16, and 13, I can now say that I will never say anything like, "I wish I'd let them fight it out more," or "I wish I'd punished them more," or "I wish I'd yelled at them more." I will only ever say that I wish I'd been more patient, more attentive, more calm and accepting of the normal stresses of having young children.
One interaction at a time. Just make the next interaction a relationship-building one. Don't worry about the one AFTER that, until IT becomes "the next one."

Homeschooling Doesn't Necessarily Mean You're at Home All Day! LOL

We've had a pretty full day so far and left this morning at 10am and didn't get home until 4pm. I have a lot to do tonight like catch up on laundry, so I thought I'd take advantage of the quietness I have in the house and post real quick. Brenna is outside playing with Ben and William, the twins that lives across the alley from us. Sweet kids - very polite and very considerate. Brenna gets along with them soooo good.
Anyway, Brenna and I left this morning to meet with a few families from our homeschool group. The group will not be doing co-ops this Spring so a few of us have taken it upon ourselves to get together and do projects and play dates. It is a very small group with only 5 parents and about 10 kids. I kinda like it though because it seems a lot easier and a lot more personal. All the kids get along great and had fun playing today while the parents planned the stuff that we will be doing. We'll be going weekly for the next five weeks. If things go smoothly, which I'm sure they will, then we'll do it again after Spring Break.
After our picnic lunch with the group, Brenna and I went to my Mom's and took care of Keira while my Dad and her went to my Grandma JoJo's for a couple hours. Keira is in day care now but my Mom takes care of her every Thursday. She is such a joy to be around and is so cute and so smart. Brenna just loves her dearly and does a wonderful job taking care of her. She took her in the backyard and they played for quite a while. After we left my Mom's Brenna went to her last basketball practice of the season. Her last game will be this Saturday and then they'll have a little party at the park.
Well I better go get dinner started and put a load in the washer.
Hope everyone else had a wonderful day too!

Brenna's blog

Here's the link to Brenna's blog.

http://brennasblog09.blogspot.com/

I will also put it on the side bar under the "Links" section.

Fun Times (with Lots of Learning!)

What a fun day we had yesterday! Brenna and I spent all afternoon playing board games. You should have seen the pile of boxes that we accumulated in the living room. I think we brought out just about every game we own. Brendon was home from work and was at the dining room table on his laptop most of the day catching up on things that he missed while he was in Connecticut. The only thing he heard pretty much all day was laughing and giggling and squealing. I'm sure we were pretty distracting but I know he loved it. :)
Brenna learned how to play Monopoly yesterday and she was actually quite good at it. I never realized what a wonderful learning tool that game is. She counted out her money, first with a little help and then she progressively became better at it and she added the dice in her head to determine how many spaces to move (all of her games have only one die). She learned strategy and also how valuable it is to save money for important things and not be so frivolous. Very good 'life lesson'. LOL
We never did finish the game because she became a little bored after almost an hour but we determined that she won because she had the most money as well as the most expensive property. I guess one reason the game is marked for ages 8+ is because of how lengthy it can be. When we started it I did not expect her to finish. I thought she did pretty good for lasting as long as she did.
We also played Battleship (good at teaching rows, columns, strategy and grids!), Sorry!, Hungry, Hungry Hippos, Connect Four and Littlest Pet Shop. We didn't get around to playing all the games we pulled out (we have tons!) but we're planning another game day today at some point.


It was nice yesterday putting off any kind of housework and doing things that I thought HAD to be done. Guess what? It will still be there tomorrow. And it is. LOL I need to start doing that a little more often I think and not be so anal about my house always being perfect - there are more important things then that. I think I've come to the conclusion that there are 'good messes' and 'bad messes'. Good messes consist of Brenna's toys and games and art stuff cluttering our house and bad messes, of course, are dishes, laundry, ect... LOL Today though I DO need to get some dishes done. :)

Anyway, so far today Brenna has created, drawn and named her own animal species (very interesting and creative!) and we made a four generation family tree. She's also made a Barbie museum and set up little scenes with her Barbies along with labels such as "Cowgirl" (Barbie dressed appropriately riding a horse), "Bath Time Barbie", "Fishing Time"(she made a boat out of paper), "Where's That Skateboard?" (with Barbie searching in her closet) and "Your Majesty" (Barbie dressed as a princess in her castle with another Barbie bowing toward her). She had a lot of fun doing that and she says that she's going to do a lot more today.

Brenna's had a cold the past couple days along with a fever so today we're not doing much and will probably relax at home again. She does have her Musical Theatre class tonight that she will probably go to because she has not had a fever since yesterday afternoon. She really, really enjoys it and so far it's been her favorite thing that she has tried. Her last basketball game is this weekend but she has no plans on returning to it next season. She will do kickball starting in a couple weeks so we'll see how that goes. I'm just happy that she tries as many things as she does, even if she ends up not caring for it too much. So far she's been in gymnastics, ballet, tap, karate, soccer, basketball and musical theatre. At least we can never say she didn't try things. LOL :)
Okay, I'm off to play with Brenna!
Till fingers and keyboard meet again.....

Being very open about my feelings right now...

So I was informed last night by my Mom that I need to stop writing things on my blog like, "...reminding myself..." and "...trying to convince myself..." that what I am doing is right. She said that she gets very upset when she reads those words when it comes to me homeschooling. And yes, I agree.
I need to be totally and utterly comfortable in what I am doing and most importantly HOW I am doing what I'm doing.
I keep waiting for that to happen - to be completely sure and not have those twinges of doubt. It doesn't happen every day or even once a week or once a month. Very seldom do I doubt what I am doing is right but it shouldn't happen AT ALL.

Do I love homeschooling Brenna? Absolutely.
Is it the best thing for our family? Without a doubt.
Would I change anything right now? Not on my life.

I guess I don't necessarily question the whole homeschooling thing itself. I totally feel at ease about not sending my daughter to school and I do not hesitate one bit. I could not fathom her going to school. I am passionate about the entire idea of homeschooling and I love the lifestyle that we have that it gives us. We are not tied down to strict school schedules and homework. Our time together doesn't just consist of weekends and evenings during the week when everyone is tired from a long day, trying to get dinner made and homework done and bath and bed before a certain time. Oh that stresses me out just thinking about it! LOL I really don't know how some people do it. Our evenings are so relaxing and we don't feel pressure at all. So I guess to sum it all up, yes I am totally in love with homeschooling and have no uncertainty about it.

To be honest, I guess the thing that I question sometimes is HOW we homeschool. I don't know why I do because I have so much proof everyday that what I am doing is right for Brenna. Everyone who frequents my blog knows that I have a very relaxed approach to homeschooling and that we do not use any type of curriculum at all (been there, tried that, not good for my child). It has been a struggle and a roller coaster ride these last two years to get to this point and to feel (somewhat) at peace with it. It is hard to put so much trust in your child that they will learn without you pushing them. It is hard to feel comfortable in the fact that you are not sitting your child at the table everyday, drilling facts into their head and making them perfect their writing or learning math by writing it down repetitively on paper as proof of what they learned that day. It's not for the child's benefit that these things get done. It's for the teacher's (or in my case, the parent) to have a hard copy of what the child has supposedly learned that day. It's not natural for children to learn that way.
Do people force their children to walk? Do they send them to a school that teaches them to walk or even talk? Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? So is forced learning - it's the same thing. Children are natural learners. They were born to learn and they were born with the instinct to learn. Look at how much children learn before school age. They learn because they WANT to and because they crave it. A child gets sent to school (or even structured homeschooling) at the age of 5, forced to sit at a desk and learn things that they have absolutely no interest in and pretty soon it becomes boring and they begin to hate anything to do with learning.
Yes, I have tried sitting Brenna at the table and "doing school". You know what happened? She shut down. Learning stopped being fun and became a struggle. She started to pick up reading at age 5 and I forced her to sit and read to me everyday whether she liked it or not - and believe me, she didn't like it one bit! She hated it. There were tears and it just seemed so forceful and unenjoyable and unnatural so I stopped. (Yes, many of you have heard this story but bear with me.) Six months after I stopped forcing her to learn how to read she acquired a passion for it and now at 6 she's reading at a 3rd grade level and reading for pleasure.
Spelling was the same struggle. We started a curriculum, she resisted and stopped learning "on her own", we stopped and now she is learning to spell everyday just by making books and IM'ing her Dad on the computer and making cards for people.
You want to hear a conversation Brenna and I had just last night? We were talking about brushing teeth and I told her that you have to brush for about two minutes. She has a little hourglass timer that is for 30 seconds.

Brenna: "So if I got my timer then it would have to go four times for that to be two minutes because it is for half a minute."
Mom: "Yes, you are completely right Brenna. Good job!"
Brenna: "So if my timer was only a quarter of a minute then it would have to go eight times for that to make two minutes."

We continued the conversation and I asked her more complicated questions, which she got right.

My 6 year old is doing fractions....in her head.

And we don't use a math curriculum which teaches her this. She learns this because she wants to and because it's interesting to her. Amazing concept. Don't we do that as adults?
Oh how I wish I could just go on and on and about how many math conversations we have like this and how much she can do in her head. It is a part of our everyday life. Why do I need textbooks to teach her things that she will naturally learn by using it in everyday life?

So after all this, I STILL doubt sometimes that what I am doing is right. Why?? Can't I see the proof right in front of me?

Every once in a while I will have the urge to sit her at the table and drill spelling words into her head and prove to me that she can spell this word and that. But I don't. Every once in a while I will have the urge to make her perform math problems on paper just so that I can see what I know she already knows. But I don't.
Believe me, it's hard. It's hard not conforming to what school should be like and what people say a child should learn at a certain age. It's hard not having that "proof" written down on paper. It's hard trusting her and trusting that she will learn things. She may not grasp certain things at the same age that school children do but her learning experiences are much richer I think because it's things that SHE is interested in that she will remember better. She is also learning certain things that are way beyond her grade level, like fractions. It kinda evens out.
But I have a philosophy on that whole thing.....
Who's to say what they should learn at what age? Really, who comes up with that stuff???
What difference will it make if my kid learns how to tie her shoes when she's 4 or when she's 6? She's still going to learn right? She's not going to be 15 and not know how to tie her shoes.
I think that applies for a lot of things. Reading, spelling, writing, ect.... Why not let them learn it when they are ready and when it is easier for them to grasp the concept instead of when "so-and-so" (books, government, teachers,ect...) says that they should? Is there any difference at all between a 7 year old learning to write cursive and a 10 year old learning to write cursive??
I'm sure that I have written similar arguments on here before and I apologize for being repetitive.

I need to listen to my Mother (don't we all??) and stop doubting what I am doing with Brenna because I SEE it. I see that she IS learning and that she is so smart. I see how much she loves learning new things and how many questions she asks everyday (that I have to find answers to!! LOL). I also have seen how much she resists when it comes to any kind of structured learning and how she just completely shuts down. Maybe I just worry too much about what other people think? I really do I guess. As my brother always tells me , I worry too much about what other people think and I need to just be myself. Oh how I wish I were more of a "free spirit" like he is. (I love you PJ!!) How different a brother and sister can be....
I need to realize that Brenna is MY child and that as her mother, I know her best and know the way that she learns best as well. I am not harming her in any way by not being a sit-at-the-table-and-do-your-work type parent. I actually have her best interest at heart and I have come to realize what kind of learner she is. She thrives on natural learning.
That, right there, is the absolute beauty of homeschooling.

Good Story

I love this story. I found it while doing my quarterly search of reasons to make myself feel better about choosing to unschool Brenna. LOL

It is a little long but the writer does such a great job at keeping it interesting, at least for me. Some might find it interesting, some not so much.... I just copied and pasted it here instead of posting a link.


Home Education Magazine
March-April 1998 - Articles

Unschooling or School-At-Home?
by Chris Sims
I didn't start out to be a home schooler. Nope, I was going to "give up" seven years of my career for the sake of my children, then jump straight back into the workforce and lead "my own" fulfilling life as soon as both kids hit school age. The change crept upon me slowly, from having a homeschooling friend whose enthusiasm was virulently infectious to finally interviewing the principal of my daughter's would-be elementary school and asking him how the school would deal with a child who was still quite hyperactive and destructive, even at the ripe old age of four and a half.
"No problem," the principal told me with a smile. "We'll just put her in a class for behavior-disordered kids and get her on medication and she'll be fine."
"Not my daughter, you won't," I announced, and at that very moment, I became a home schooler.
The principal shouted, "Well, I have to protect my teachers, you know," just added fuel to my newly stoked fire.
So I went home to see if we could do it.
I hang my head in sheepish bemusement to recall how I sat my preschoolers down on child-sized chairs while I knelt beside a child-sized blackboard and even (gulp) used a pointer to begin their first week of lessons. That week was a dismal failure. Somehow, I just couldn't seem to get either child to sit still!
At that point, I didn't know that school could be anything other than the classroom type of experience my husband and I had endured all of our schooled lives. I'll always be grateful to a friend who gently directed me to the John Holt section of the library. She also introduced me to confident, homeschooled teenagers who happily answered all my questions. It's a good thing I was blessed with resilient children, too. They were the ones who ultimately had to teach their parents what education is really all about.
So, armed at last with a headful of unschooling book-learning, my family relaxed and just hung around together. We hiked, we read, we went to museums and art galleries. We cooked, sang and painted. While my husband and I worked on home remodeling projects, the children handled real tools and learned what they were for. Unschooling was the way to go!
But then we moved to a new school district and my daughter absolutely begged to go to kindergarten. Having come full circle, my husband and I truly believed in the unschooling philosophy and couldn't imagine why our daughter wanted the prison-like atmosphere of school. On the other hand, we had to admit that Emily thrived on structure, while the rest of us simply don't live that way. Figuring school might fill that gap in her life, we let her go. While Emily did enjoy the predictability of her day, she didn't like being told what to learn and when to use the bathroom. She especially didn't like being set aside with a pile of busywork while the teacher taught the other kids their colors, letters and numbers-things that Emily had already known almost half her life. (When she was two, she had me read Dr. Suess' ABC so often that I could recite it in my sleep. At two-and-a-half, she started sounding out words on her cereal boxes at breakfast. I'm all for delaying academics, but I believe it's even more important to listen to nature!)
After five weeks of kindergarten, we discovered that Emily was learning that "I am different and different is not okay." The teacher, principal and school psychologist agreed that she would be better off homeschooled. They offered all the resources and support we could ever have asked for.
Back home, Emily insisted on maintaining a school-like routine. Balking a little, I went along with it. She loved it! So did our son, who was almost four at the time. It didn't take long, though, to slip into a pattern of interruptions, field trips and "special situations" that precluded getting our routine done. Thus, we began a years-long yo-yo ride: chaos was fine until I succumbed to peer pressure within the homeschooling community and decided the kids needed to be able to write as neatly or recite history as well as their agemates. We'd return to a structured approach only to sink back to merely living life. Whining and bickering would then besiege our un-"school" and the kids would once again insist on doing school at the table like we used to. Even when fights and tears ensued, we'd stubbornly hold our course until everybody was so miserable that we had to step back and re-evaluate. Deciding to pitch the schedule and just keep to a loose requirement that something academic be accomplished every day usually led to a great, collective sigh of relief.
And guilt. "Oh, so you don't really do anything," a librarian once observed. "You just keep your kids home." But since the compromise between total unschooling and rigid school-at-home seemed to be working, we stuck to it, convinced that we had finally found our family's best method.
Wrong!
My son made his view of the situation perfectly clear when it was his turn to find out for himself what went on in that big, brick building up the street. One of his first assignments in second grade was to write about his previous education. "In homeschooling," he wrote, "I do math and stuff and mostly just try to keep from getting bored." He got a check-plus on top of the paper. I felt as though I'd gotten a D-minus.
After a year of school, Reed and I were dissatisfied with the quality of our son's education and made the decision to continue homeschooling. How was another question. What, I asked myself in the middle of many nights (the only time when many a homeschooling mom can complete a thought) is the correct method of homeschooling for our particular children? I could see all kinds of benefits to the unschooling philosophy. Why, then, did my children yearn so for classroom education and demand structure at home, even to the point of wanting spelling tests and, even worse, having them graded? "No, mom," my daughter once told me, "I don't get to try again, you just mark it wrong and put minus whatever at the top." Note that I said, "once." The notion that mistakes were permanent and uncorrectable rather than helpful tools for learning just didn't go over too well with ol' Mom.
Experiential learning is the kind that sticks. It also lends itself to extrapolation into other fields of knowledge, according to numerous studies on how both adults and children learn. The self-taught tend to be more creative, innovative and motivated, better organized, and happier with themselves and their world. How could I not want those benefits for our children?
On the other hand, I can see plenty of advantages to the school-at-home style. Some things, for instance, can only be learned and improved upon with practice. Take piano, tae kwon-do and sign language for instance. Even long division is a skill that gets rusty without regular use. Foreign languages are still most easily acquired by the young, so it makes me nervous to wait until the children develop their own desire to learn one. Memorization is thought to stimulate the growth of gray matter-the usable stuff-in the brain. That, too, is a feature most true of a brain that is still young and developing. Memorization of rhythmic, rhyming poetry instills an innate math sense, something especially important to my daughter, who has an awfully hard time understanding the relationship between numbers. She's not too keen on memorizing, however. Brushing her teeth doesn't thrill her either, but what kind of a parent would I be if I didn't insist on brushing now to ensure better health later? Then there are the studies of schooled children that have shown that gifted students who are not intellectually challenged tend to actually lose IQ points over time.
Both extremes of educational style have merit, though I have to admit I still lean toward the unschooling style. It seemed most logical to sit down with each of the kids, talk about all of the options and hear what they had to say. Both of them wanted structure. School at home.
All right. If structure was what the children wanted to "try to keep from getting bored," structure they'd get. I, being the one to stay home most of the time, really tried.
The trouble is that in life, interruptions happen. If the chickens get out in the middle of a math lesson, they need to be put back in the pasture before we can give much attention to what three eights make. If a friend needs emergency babysitting, then loving service to others takes precedence over a page of grammar exercises. If the snow is going to fly tomorrow, the garden gets taken in today. If the kids have been involved since dawn in building a complicated series of cardboard stables, who am I to suggest that they adjorn to the table to do measuring exercises on paper?
Eventually, the books lay forgotten in the dining room under piles of other, more immediate projects and concerns. Once again, guilt struck. They wanted structure. They said so. They begged for it! Why, oh, why couldn't I be a good mom and provide it?
Then again, they didn't look unhappy.
My son asked me one day when he accidentally caught sight of a semi-buried math book, "Shouldn't we do some schoolwork today?"
"Yeah," chorused his sister. "We haven't done any for days and weeks!"
"Well, I'm not so sure about that," I said. "Remember when we were out walking the dogs and had that big discussion about space habitats?" They nodded. "Science," I said. "And you know all those space ships you've been building out of Legoes? That's math."
The kids thought about that for a minute and liked what they heard. For the next week or so, they assured me they were doing Lego math and didn't need to do anything else. Just when I thought I had them convinced that they could unschool, they wanted lessons at the kitchen table again.
A great light of realization finally broke through my barriers of guilt and set us all free. The homeschooling method that works best for us is to bounce back and forth: Unschooling until creativity wanes and boredom sets in. School at home until that has satisfied the moment's need and created a desire to relax and do something else. Balancing chores, information, service, art, household projects and work so that everybody's needs get met at least some of the time. "A change is as good as a holiday," someone once said.
How very true!
© 1998 Chris Sims
Chris Sims has been homeschooling for five years, officially. Ten, if you consider that her children began learning the day they were born! She lives with her husband, two children and two dogs on a miniature farm in Vermont where they raise goats, chickens, herbs, vegetables and perpetual chaos.

I'm sitting here missing my sweet husband who is in Hartford, CT right now for work. Lucky duck gets to experience actual winter weather in January! He just called me from the airport after he landed and said that there is snow on the ground outside. And I just went outside to feed my cats in shorts! Yes, I do love my warm Texas weather but come on! It's supposed to be winter right now, not feel like Spring!
I am waiting impatiently for him to email me with his hotel phone number so that I can call him. His cell phone does not work up there and he used Jason's (the guy he's traveling with) phone to call when he landed. It's after eleven and I am getting tired so hopefully he will email soon. I do not like this one bit. Brendon and I have been married for almost 9 years and I love him more than the day I married him. I don't like him being gone. It really, really sucks. He'll be back Thursday though so that's not too long I guess.
Brenna went to bed earlier then normal tonight because she's just been so darn grumpy and emotional lately. I think it's because she's been going to bed a little later then she used to - about 9:30. Back to 8 - 8:30 for that girl! She's just one who really needs her sleep I guess. It doesn't really matter what time she goes to bed, she wakes up around the same time every morning. She does NOT sleep in and sometimes she could really use it. If the sun is up then so is she. She's camping out in our bed while Dad's gone and I have our thick curtains drawn back so maybe she'll get a really good nights sleep tonight and not wake up at the crack of dawn. :)
I've been on the computer for the last couple hours. I like to get on and read my boards that I belong too. They are all about homeschooling of course. It's nice being able to connect with other Mom's who homeschool and read about things that they are going through and questions that they have. There are posts pretty much about everything from curriculum to relationships. I don't read them as much as I used to just because I don't spend as much time on the computer. So when I do get on there's lots to catch up on. Sometimes it's bad though because I guess you tend to compare yourself with other Mom's who homeschool. I've got to learn to NOT do that. My child is completely unique and I'm not going to do 4 hours of school work with her just because some other mom of a six year old is doing that - that just does not fit her. Holy cow, she would FREAK OUT! LOL :) I just need to remind myself that she is learning plenty and is doing very well right now.
Well Brendon just emailed me and I got to talk to him for a few minutes. It's almost 1am there and he has to get up at 6am. He's sounds so exhausted. He's been traveling since 10 this morning so I guess I would be too.
Brenna and I will be keeping ourselves busy while he is gone. We have a zoo trip planned (I love having a membership!), a beach clean-up and a couple of "girl nights" with manicures, movies and popcorn so I am really looking forward to that. She's a lot of fun to hang out with. :)
Till fingers and keyboard meet again......

Zoo Time

Brendon, Brenna and I went to the zoo last Friday. It is very nice going during the week because it's not crowded at all. Another perk of going during that time is that Brenna is usually the only kid around and she gets to do really cool stuff, like feed a baby camel! I posted a while back about her feeding Noel, the last one they had there, but I did not have my camera at the time. I was so bummed out about that but I got another chance last week. :) The baby camel, Merry, was born right before Christmas and was a lot smaller then the last one. She was not even a month old yet. We knew that feeding time was at noon so last week we made sure to get there right in time and crossed our fingers that Brenna would be able to do it again.
Sure enough the zoo lady came out with three HUGE bottles and looked around and nonchalantly asked if there were any short people who would be willing to feed a camel it's lunch. Brenna's little eyes lit up and she got soooo excited. Here's a couple good pictures I got....

Great Weekend

Brendon, Brenna and I went to my Dad's hunting lease this past weekend. We hadn't been there since Brenna was two and we had a blast! They have a really great set up with a nice cabin that sleeps about 7, an outdoor kitchen, a bathroom with a shower and hot water and a nice big covered deck to hang out on. Brenna had a really great time and did not even play with all the games I brought or her Nintendo DS - which was great! She was out climbing trees, taking Mazzy for walks, talking to cows (LOL) and just exploring. She's a very outdoorsy little girl. We got very spoiled too by my Aunt RuthAnn - that woman can cook!! :)
I'm hoping that we will be going back very soon. We will definitely NOT wait another 4 years like we did last time.
I took quite a few great pictures and posted some of them. If you click on them they should get bigger.

I sure hope everyone had a great Christmas - we sure did! Brendon's whole family came down and we had a wonderful time. It had been a while since we had seen some of them.
Christmas Eve was spent at my parent's house and we had dinner and opened gifts. Christmas morning Brendon, Brenna and I opened our gifts here at the house. Brenna was ecstatic about her Nintendo DS! I was worried about her playing on it too much but so far it has not been a problem at all. She regulates herself pretty well so I have not had to step in as of yet. She got a lot of other really cool stuff this year too. She now has her own pink acoustic guitar and loves to play around with it. She wants to take guitar lessons but she won't be able to until she's 7 - which is actually right around the corner! She also got a digital camera and was very excited about that. Now she can quit using mine! LOL We went to Lisa's house Christmas Day and spent pretty much all day there with Brendon's family and had a wonderful traditional turkey and ham lunch.

I am very glad that it is a new year. Last year kinda stunk. I'm ready for new stuff and new goals. My best friend, Mieree, and I are going to come up with a a weekly schedule for the girls and us. Park days, field trip days, ect... I have to find some sort of structure or I'm afraid that we will just spend too much time at home. We have still been going to see my Grandma - not every day like I had anticipated, but about 3-4 times a week. She really likes that because I think she is starting to get a little lonely.
Brenna is still doing basketball and loves it. She is getting much better and wants to continue it next season. Her last game this season is in February. I'm not sure when the next one starts. I finally got a call yesterday about the Musical Theatre class that we looked into last year and after a very long waiting period, they will be starting next week! YEA! I really, really think that this will be something that Brenna will be VERY good at and really enjoy. I am already planning to sign her up for the theatre class they do here every summer. It is quite extensive and lasts pretty much the whole summer and is Monday thru Friday. I think Mieree is going to sign Rhiannon up too, so we can take turns taking the girls, which will make it easier. I wanted to do it last summer but it just wasn't possible with me taking care of my Grandpa.

Well that's pretty much it for an update. I will post again soon. :)